Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Hay in my Bullie for the pain

A guy in a moon boot lurks in the Bank queue. Sewe honderd, seblief. The Muffinz make nice with a veggie stir fry by the bin coz there’s the best light. Face masks save us from dust and ethnicity. I want to give you some good, good lovin…  They might be banned, maar dit is ‘n Chinese lantern, Bandannas bring out my eyes on the Bos stage en route to Oskido I believe at Oppi… Oppi! Oppi? The scent of disinfectant soap, the cleaners at the klein bar, but life’s too short to wait this long. I spilt my beer while pissing and there was a oke passed out right there. I shot the sheriff. My name is… My name is The Kiffness and I’m bringing kiffness back as my burp turns to smoke as me and Ampie share a tree. I dropped my kief gloves right there coz I lost focus but I found them on the way to Knorka… or was it Boar… Ga…Zim! Boar…Ga…Zim! Pig masks and squeals over riffs like falling houses landing, house landings falling…  My burp turns to smoke as I go running to the killer, as long as you can hear them you fine as the breath filters out are those roars or yawns beneath your scarf? There’s only two metal bands, but two feels ’bout right with the pig squeals all night, as long as the second one’s Pestroy. Very Slipknot. Bier warra warra small talk says the T beneath the pig squeals. I thought it was AKA trying and being ignored. There’s white guys that can rap better than this, but it was Bittereinder and people were loving it. No matter how cold you are, you gotta take your gloves off to pee. Some bands are best heard play from like half a kay away. A couple leave and we share a nod. Metal surfs on subtleties and dreadlocks get you clearance in the pit. Ek’s oppie hoek van fyndraai and fokkit. Waar’s jy? Knorkator gay Rammstein vibes and slack-jawed disbelief. Berlin you say? Unsound System till the dawn unless you rip your face open on a thornbush having a piss. Those things are poisonous we’ve had a lot of them you not allergic to iodine are you? The tent is further to the left than we realised is the lesson two cold hours can teach you don’t want to smoke the last one cos you need your wits about you but clearly there’s not much of that about to begin. One thing I did forget though is ’n waslappie, so ’n sponsie. Ons gannie stort nie so… Lying, breathing, dying, staring at the wall of the tent until the heat becomes too much. Wil jy ’n bier vat? Dis elfuur. Die eerste vliegtuig is al vieruur oor. The state of my phone, and charge is like gold in this place. Oppi! Oppi! Oppi? Bongos can fuckoff, but Bongos to Fokof, my dust cough, those gas masks don’t look so dumb in the red dust of dawn. A drunken, dusty, midday dawn I need a anti-drunk pill, like solid. International Farmer. International farmer! And the heads nods on the rocks as we pick up the pieces. A Bullie for the pain. I haven’t lost anything. I haven’t lost anything. Come to the Koppi and I’ll show you the world. If you don’t twist your ankle you’ve got strong ankles there’s no V-hold or if there is it’s a bit off, like five degrees off. A girl who agrees got a hula hoop and looks hellish. The one in the orange with the curves is cool guys are round her like flies on vetkoek. Okes with the big foam hands on stage with Fletch and the stage hands want them off, but no one cares enough to push it either way this time of day getting dosed up on dub. Ek’s die Wambuseun. Die Wambuseun whatever that means and okes still hug each other awkwardly, universally, even if it’s Koppi. Oppi! Oppi! Oppi? Big boobs and bums turns heads, but is she hot? At least her tramp stamp is small. Try to change your dressing those things are poisonous don’t forget to dress your wound and tuck out your shirt, you look all weird. Major Lazer. Major Lazer. I tried to get away, but… But the black Viking called me back. And the naked dude at the beer garden I didn’t see his cock but he was naked, bru, naked. There’s hay in my Red Bull and a big bodge looms oh god I’m in District 9 I’m not going back till I have to. Daai liedjie se naam is Oppikoppi ons het hom nou net gemaak. Ons baskitaar speler is ongelukkig nie hie’ nie hy le in sy bed en nou en dan kots hy in so ’n bak. There’s a guy on the hoek van Draadsitter en Wolmer who looks the same and he made it but the Buckfevers sound epic even psychedelic even and they always had the best beards and there’s potion in this bottle only I know how to drink look here’s your last four transactions you gonna need more money gonna have to queue the long one’s for tequila something quick to shoot hou my vas voor ek myself dood dans dude ag fok my foon...

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